Today, I Am A Dolphins Fan

In the words of Chris Berman, no one should lose them all.

I could make the argument that NFL players have to work harder and take more physical punishment than in any other professional sport. When you've lost thirteen straight games (sixteen straight going back to last season), then it has to wear on you mentally and physically. There was a 500 pund monkey--actually, a gorilla probably--sitting on the backs of the Miami Dolphins. Six of the thirteen losses had come by three points or less. In the same season the Patriots are striving for perfection, it seemed the Dolphins were striving for imperfection.
You could tell these guys weren't quitters. Veterans like Jason Taylor and Joey Porter refused to give up on their team, even when it was clear the organization was starting over (trade of Chris Chambers, rookie quarterback, etc.). Young guys like Samkon Gado and Cleo Lemon played hard when they were the laughing stock of the league. After getting blown away by the 3-11 Jets last week, it seemed like this week's game against the Ravens would be their best shot notch a "1" in the win column.

I was watching the Pats-Jets game and monitoring the score ticker on the bottom of the screen the whole time. It looked pretty good when it was 16-13 Miami with less than 90 seconds to play. But then, the next time the ticker came up, it was 16-16 with 15 minutes of OT. After the Pats beat the Jets, they switched over the Steelers-Jags, then when that game was over, they switched over to the Dolphins-Ravens. When I left my friend's house, it looked like the Ravens would kick a game-ending field goal. Another heartbreaking loss for the 'Fins.

But I get back to my house, and I see the game full screen: Miami 22, Baltimore 16. Holy crap, they pulled it off! Winless no more, thanks to Cleo Lemon to Greg Camarillo for a 64-yard touchdown. Miami is now 1-13. It ain't pretty, but there's something to be proud of. That's what the Ravens get for whining about the officiating during the Pats game.

For a while, I wanted to see a team go 0-16, just for the historical aspect. Pure, uninhibited futility. You have to be good at being bad to be bad. Kind of like if your quarterback kills dogs, your coach is a lying quitter, and your owner makes inconsiderate remarks on national television. Wait, did this happen? Yeah, it did. Moving on...

There is a selfish reason I wanted Miami to win, especially this week. Think about it...if Miami had lost, they would go into New England next Sunday 0-14. New England would be 14-0. In case you've been living under a rock, the 1972 Dolphins are the only perfect team in league history. With two games left, how ironically perfect, how deliciously evil, how undeniably vengeful, would a Miami victory be? Mercury Morris would be hired as a temporary Sportscenter anchor for a week. That would absolutely kill me, the best losing to the worst. It would have to be one of the biggest upsets in the history of sports. Miami has a history of giving Tom Brady fits and making him look mediocre. Pats fans will remember...the Monday night game from 2004, when Miami stormed backed to win and picked off Brady 4 times? The game last year, when Miami won 21-0 (the last time the Pats lost in the regular season)? I would be the most frightened Pats fan ever. Everything--history, fate, foreshadowing, revenge--would spell a Miami win.

But Miami won today. They didn't lose. There's no symmetry, no drama, no irony, none of that. Brady still may have trouble against the Dolphins' D, but everything else that could have helped Miami has been pushed aside.

Congrats, 2007 Dolphins. Pop some champagne, because if the Pats win out, the 1972 Dolphins won't get the chance to do the same.

Fred Taylor Needs Some Love

Now that my family lives near Jacksonville, I'm in a new sports town for the first time in my life (if you can call Jacksonville a sports town). Despite the fact that the Jaguars are on a playoff run and could probably beat anyone right now, not too many people seem to care. Everyone loves the University of Florida, Florida State or Georgia. The Jags don't get much love. Sometimes, the stadium sells so few seats, the games get blacked out, and CBS doesn't air football; they air a crappy infomercial or some other garbage for three hours instead.

While at lunch today with some family, I got in a discussion with my mom's cousin about the Jags and Fred Taylor. She said she had voted at least ten times for Taylor (and David Garrard) to go to the Pro Bowl. "Fred deserves it," she told me. "He's been so good for a long time."

I know, I know, all the talking heads always say Taylor is one of the most underrated backs in league, blahblahblah. I always thought of Taylor as a nice back who could bust out a few really good games in the season, but never really wowed you with his style of football. He's a bruiser. He doesn't get much love because the Jags a) play in a market where college sports are more important, and b) always seem to be just good enough to make the playoffs, but never make any noise.

Taylor, at 31, is in his 10th year in the league out of the University of Florida. Here are just a few interesting tidbits from his 10 year career...

• He has rushed for 1,000 yards in 7 out of 10 seasons, including his rookie year.


• In 10 seasons, he has fumbled 25 times, and lost it 16 times. He loses a fumble 1.6 times every year. That's extraordinary.


• He has started 12 games in 7 of his 10 seasons.


• In his career, he averages 4.7 yards per carry. This season, he is second (to Adrian Peterson) in the NFL among backs with more than 150 carries, averaging 5.1 yards per rush.


• He has the second longest run in the NFL this season, an 80-yard touchdown last week.

This just may seem timely because of the monster day Taylor had today in the snow against Pittsburgh (25 carries, 147 yards and a score). But it's more than that. No back in NFL history has more rush yards than Taylor without ever being selected to a Pro Bowl. Sure, there are better backs in the AFC. But this may be Taylor's year to get to Honolulu. In the AFC, there's LaDainian Tomlinson, Willie Parker and Joseph Addai, Anyone else stand out? I say Taylor should get the fourth spot.

Not that it really matters to the players, but Fred Taylor for Pro Bowl!

The BCS Matchups: Hawaii Gets In, Mizzou Gets Screwed, and Illinois?!?!?!

THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP: OHIO STATE VS. LSU
I'm fine with this. LSU, according to Les Miles (steadily becoming one of my favorite people in sports), is undefeated. Well, kind of. They lost twice in tripe overtime to unranked teams Kentucky and Arkansas, but they dumptrucked Virginia Tech, came back to beat Florida, and won the SEC. Ohio State has just the one loss to Illinois, beat Michigan and won the Big 10. They dominated their opponents with a weak schedule. Not the sexiest matchup, but I think it's the two of the three best teams in college football all season.

THE ORANGE BOWL: VIRGINIA TECH VS. KANSAS
That's right, folks. Kansas, not Missouri, is in the BCS. This is absolute garbage. Missouri beat Kansas, played a much tougher schedule, and lost twice to a BCS team that is good enough to have played in the national title game. Kansas played a crap schedule and got dominated by the Tigers (despite what the score says). Mizzou didn't get in because there can't be three teams from one conference in the BCS. The BCS people thought Kansas deserved it more than Mizzou. To them, I say, Fack you. With Mizzou out, that cleared the way for...

THE ROSE BOWL: ILLINOIS VS. USC
Yes, Illinois, with three losses, is in the BCS. They were the only team to beat Ohio State, but they also lost to Iowa and Michigan. I take solace in the fact that USC, the hottest team in college football, will absolutely destroy them and Scott Van Pelt will say "BOOTYOOTYOOTYOOTY ROCKIN EVERYDAY!" hopefully multiple times on Sportscenter on January 1st. That and the unfathomable number of Juice Williams puns and jokes will make this game worth it.

THE FIESTA BOWL: OKLAHOMA VS. WEST VIRGINIA
Holy hell this game's gonna be fun. Has the potential to be the best game of the bunch. After not getting into the national championship by losing to Pittsburgh, the Mountaineers get a crack at the Sooners. I said OSU and LSU were two of the three best teams in the country, Oklahoma was my third team. So even though they're not playing in the actual title game, WVU and Rich Rodriguez should know the Sooners are the cream of the crop. Tons of points, running the football, and a chance for Sam Bradford to start polishing his Heisman resume for next year.

THE SUGAR BOWL: GEORGIA VS. HAWAII
This game should be equally fun. Colt Brennan gets the chance to showcase his haircut and ridiculous arm against a Georgia team that will have a chip on their shoulder for not getting into the national championship game. I'll be excited to see this Georgia team that didn't get much love during the season (4-0 against ranked teams) and a Hawaii team that had its doubters all season. The Warriors did everything they had to do--they ran the table for the season in the weak WAC conference. Georgia got hot behind the legs of Knowshon Moreno and the arm of Matthew Stafford.

In sum, the BCS is a travishamockery.

In other news, my Boston College Eagles, who I just spent the entire weekend in Florida on watching them lose to Virginia Tech, will be playing in the Champs Sports Bowl against Michigan State. Happens every year...they tease, they beckon, they choke late in the season, they get a quasi-crappy bowl game, they win the bowl game. Still, I do it all, for Boston, for Boston...

And, in what could be one of the coolest football games in the history of mankind, Michigan vs. Florida in the Capital One Bowl. Dear God, I might have an aneurysm. That's going to feel like a BCS game. I can't wait.

College Football: One Giant, Delicious Mess

This is awesome. I never really appreciated college football until this season. A lot of it has to do with my team, the Boston College Eagles starting 8-0, finishing the regular season 10-2, and me going to the ACC Championship game next Saturday. But more of it has to do with the ridiculous number of upsets, Tim Tebow, Jesse Palmer and so much more. I'll explain.

The number of upsets...that's pretty obvious. This season has seen an unprecedented number of top 10 teams falling to unranked teams. Oklahoma (twice), LSU to Arkansas, Stanford over USC, Appalachian state over Michigan, and, my personal favorite, Syracuse over Louisville. There are so many others. This has been the "Season of the Little Guy," which has turned the BCS upside down and more inconsistent than the San Diego Chargers. Who would have thought, with one week left in the season, West Virginia would be #1 and Missouri would be #2? Talk about coming out of nowhere. Whoever plays for the national championship will have been part of the craziest season in the history of college football.

And then there's this guy playing football in Gainesville, Florida. His name is Clark Kent, I mean, Tim Tebow. He has scored a total of 51 touchdowns...you heard me correctly...FIFTY ONE! He is having a season unlike any other. He leads the Gators in passing AND rushing. He is one of the most unique athletes that the position has ever seen. Plus, he's BEAUTIFUL. My mom just moved to Jacksonville, his hometown; I was hoping she would be neighbors with his parents or something. The things he does every Saturday are incredible. I can't wait to see him on Sundays. I wonder what position he'll play...

Another former Gator, Jesse Palmer, has made the flawless transition from reality tv star to college football analyst. He's done a fantastic job on ESPN breaking down every conference, and every player better than he broke the heart of every bachelorette lusting after him on ABC's "The Bachelor" (including the one he ended up choosing). Palmer has been a breath of fresh air and a welcome respite from the blabbering of Lou Holtz and the overzealousness of Mark May. And he's much more attractive.

Along with these, the fans at the various sites of College GameDay (Oregon and Michigan fans with "Longshore Likes Zima" and "The Devil Wears A Sweater Vest" signs, respectively), the size and awesomeness of Chase Daniel and the Oregon Ducks mascot have all made this season one to remember. Now if only Syracuse could get back on track...

Does/Will anyone care about Posh and Becks?

David and Victoria Beckham arrived in Los Angeles yesterday to dozens of photographers and media people, all trying to capture of Posh and Becks in the United States. In case you forgot, David signed a 5-year, $250 million dollar deal to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy of the MLS, leaving Real Madrid and his (and his wife's) status as borderline British royalty behind.
This story seems to think Beckham is going to catapult the MLS to another level, that his and his wife's pop culture status will draw more people to watch soccer here in the States. The author Frank Dell'Apa talks about Beckham having an impact similar to Pele back in the 1970s, that "the Galaxy and the league will be drowning in publicity, and this indicates a move forward. There is no going back." Basically, "Beckham's impact on American soccer -- and even the rest of the sporting landscape -- cannot be overstated."

Whoa there, buddy. I think you just overstated it yourself.

Beckham's arrival will certainly bring the MLS publicity unlike any it's ever seen before. The Galaxy's games will have highlights on Sportscenter, Beckham will have press conferences, and all the rest. The Galaxy's games will be well attended, and Beckham will capture a new audience of women and teenage girls more concerned with his looks and his spouse than his game and the game altogether. The national interest in MLS will certainly increase.

But there's just one small problem: WE DON'T WATCH SOCCER HERE.

In Britain, where soccer and the English Premier League is equivalent, if not greater than, the NFL in this country, Beckham was a GOD from a popularity standpoint. Like Tom Brady, only bigger. Soccer is the world's most popular sport, and Beckham is its face. Unfortunately for Becks and the MLS, in this case, the US doesn't follow suit with the rest of the globe.
For a while, it seemed like soccer had finally turned the corner. In 1999, when 100,000 people packed the Rose Bowl to watch the US women win the World Cup, the nation fell in love with these gifted women who proved to the rest of the world that we could play soccer, too (I can't say the same about the men). Little girls everywhere became motivated to play soccer, and those who already played saw their dreams unfold right before their eyes. But just like the sun, the soccer craze rose and fell, with the final straw being the disappointing US men in the 2006 World Cup.

It will take a monumental achievement, either a World Cup or an Olympic gold, for men's soccer to catch on in this country. Sports fans here don't care how good-looking you are or how hot your wife is, they want to see performance on the field. And, last time I checked, Beckham's game is not comparable to Pele. It's not even close. Even Ronaldinho, with his ridiculous skills and eye-popping ability, has barely made a blip on the American sports radar.

One athlete alone can not change the spectrum of a sport. It takes a team to capture our hearts. Look at Michael Phelps, he's possibly one of the greatest Olympians our country has ever seen, and he hasn't given swimming much more attention than it normally would get. Then look at US gynmastics in 1996, with Kerri Strug and her gimpy ankle landing flawlessly on a blue piece of foam, it turned into one of the most memorable sports moments of the last decade.

If the US wins the World Cup in 2010, I'll give soccer a puncher's chance to finally become a spectator sport in this country. The Galaxy will enjoy the spotlight. But David Beckham will not have a major impact on the rest of the MLS. In the end, he'll have more pictures in US Weekly than SI.

Awesomely Awesome All-Star Moments

PREGAME

• Simpsons tease before the break: Absolute genius.
• All right, that dude they had hitting balls off of the tee had to be hand-picked for awfulness. I'm not saying I could have done better, but I think they seriously picked him for unintentional comedy. They always make those gimmicky pre-game things too easy, this time it was, apparently, waaaaaaaaaaay too hard.
• During the introductions, Manny Ramirez refusing to acknowledge the crowd. Followed by Hideki Okajima waving, then bowing with his hands together. God I love my team.
• Victor Martinez and his very cute son giving the peace sign.
• The fans: booing at the appropriate times, I was very impressed. The Yankees, and every California team not the Giants. Well done.
• A-Rod giving the fist to no one in particular.
• Dan Haren looks like he was made to be in a band. The hair, the face, the beard...
• Barry Bonds clapping his hands together like a seal as he was introduced.
• First glimpse of David Wright.
• National anthem, very old school-sounding. I felt like I was listening to a 1950s record.
• Awesome picture of Willie Mays making That Catch in Centerfield (and Bonds still clapping like a seal, maybe that's just the way he claps).
• Jose Reyes asking for Mays' autograph, neat to see someone so many are starstruck by be starstruck himself.
  

GAME:

• Eric Byrnes and his bulldog in a kayak. So cute, yet so cheesy.
• Cal Ripken announcing the AL starters was the Mayor of Awkward City. No need to adlib, buddy. Ozzie Smith, on the other hand, was the Mayor of I Love Teleprompter City.
• Joe Buck says there's a chance there will be some runs scored because it's cloudy. Now that's analysis.
• Chase Utley's face after Prince Fielder's error to allow Papi to reach. So perfect. A-Rod's up...and a diving stop by The Sexiest Player in the National League.
• I swear to God they played the Phantom of the Opera music when Bonds came up. Someone confirm this.
• They're highlighting a good stat for each starter. For Carlos Beltran, they point out he's 10th in the NL in homers. TENTH. He strikes out swinging. Hunter Pence, your thoughts?
• Tim McCarver says Russell Martin's father was a musker, what McCarver calls "a musician who plays in the streets for money." Tim, he's a street bum. Let's not kid ourselves.
• In addition to looking like a rock star, I can hardly understand a word Haren says. It's unfortunate Ken Rosenthal, by far the dorkiest sports journalist on tv (good thing most of his work is for foxsports.com), notices this and limits the interview to one question. Bummer.
• McCarver starts to giggle after Ichiro gets another base hit: "It looked like he hit that ball with a violin!" Really? A violin? Wow.
• This is the second or third time Buck pronounces EE-cheer-o as Itch-i-ro. This could be a problem.
• A rather hilarious "double" by Reyes goes by a whiffing A-Rod, then I realize Beckett's pitching. Crap. But he finishes with a scoreless inning. Good stuff from Joshy Bear.
• A-Rod gets tagged out at the plate by two miles on a good throw from Griffey. Not the best day for Senor Rodriguez.
• More Joshy Bear? Fantabulous. This is quite a handsome matchup: Beckett vs. Wright. I'm enjoying this thoroughly.
• Two scoreless innings from Joshy Bear. Can't ask for much more.
• Buck describes the scuffle between Chris Young and Derrek Lee earlier in the season as "like a scene from the movie 300". THIS! IS! CHICAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• This moment tops everything so far: Byrnes throws his baseball in the water, tells Bruin the bulldog to go get it. Bruin freezes on the edge of the boat (they're out of the kayak now) for about 10 seconds, then jumps in and swims away from the baseball and past the boat, to the point where strangers have to redirect Bruin back to Byrnes. Phenomenal stuff.
• Itchiro (Buck still calling him this) manages an inside-the-park homerun, and is immediately fanned by Manny in the dugout. McCarver uses the term "screwy carem" to describe the ball's path. Bad images.
• BREAKING NEWS FROM MCCOVEY COVE: Bruin the bulldog is safe! Thank goodness.
• I'm officially bored with this game. Papelbon needs to come in now.
• Not sure how I feel about the Dane Cook Fall Classic commercials, a little too deliberate, I think. That movie Underdog, on the other hand, looks fantastic. Has my name written all over it. So does Rush Hour 3.
• Mike Lowell in the game at 3rd, most unsung hero of the Red Sox so far this year. He's leading the team in HRs and RBIs-not Manny, not Papi, it's Lowell. Verlander pitching, Beltran zips a triple, thankfully McCarver chooses not to say "screwy carem" again.
• Wright shatters his bat with a single and cuts the lead to 3-2. One thing I realized: he has extraordinarily bushy and dark eyebrows.
• A very clearly audible "SHIT!" from Russell Martin.
• Lowell with a single. Everyone wrote him off when he went to the AL, now he's an All-Star. Good for him.
• Victor Martinez opens things up for the AL with a 2-run shot. Fabolous. 3-run lead with Papelbon and Putz? NL doesn't have a shot.
• Papelbon for the 8th! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah booooooooooooooy! Wild Thing! You make my heart sing! McCarver just said Papelbon has "a wonderful, whimsical way about him." Damn straight.
• Chase Utley likes to dance at weddings. McCarver: "I'll have to ask Utley if he limits his dancing to weddings." Buck (long pause): "I don't know." As much as I don't like these two, they provide some high comedy. McCarver is clearly either homosexual or sexually confused, or both.
• McCarver on Papelbon's stance: "We've discovered another penguin!" Um, no, Tim, no you haven't.
• Scoreless inning from Jonathan. The NL just got Pap Smeared.
• I'm trying to picture Itchiro in a Chevy Tahoe Hybrid. Not really happening.
• Bruce Froemming is a large human being, and he's paying for it.

All right, it's the bottom of the 9th, 2 outs, I'm going to bed. Thanks to Buck, McCarver and all the rest for the fun. But the biggest thanks to Byrnes and Bruin-you made my day.

Don't touch...this team is EXTREMELY fragile

So the Red Sox are known for always being active at the trade deadline. This year, things may or may not be different from the past. Personally, I love this team to death. I really do. I don't want Theo to do anything stupid, like make a trade for the sake of making a trade. I know there are some holes, and if we can fix them, that'd be great. But honestly, I don't see too many things that need fixing, or could be fixed with a trade.

My biggest beef is at shortstop. Everyone's been saying all year, "Lugo will heat up, Lugo will heat up...right?" It hasn't happened, and all indications are that it won't. I don't know what it is, but the shortstop position has been a thorn in the organization's side ever since Nomar left. Orlando Cabrera should be playing shortstop for this team right now. If we could trade for anyone, I'd trade for him. He was such a great spark the second half of 2004 and he looked he was having more fun than anyone else on the team. But he left Boston for LA (this never should have happened). Boston proceeded to use three different shortstops over the next three years, choosing not to resign any of them. Jed Lowrie, their first round draft choice from 2005, is in AA but isn't expected to be ready until 2009. I hope Lugo can wake up or they start Alex Cora more often.

But, like I said, I really like the way this team is built for the stretch run. Injuries aside, things are looking good for a run in the postseason. The top ten reasons why I like their chances:

10. Solid off the bench: Cora, Ellsbury, Hinske, and Pena have all accepted their roles and have not hurt the team when they have played (they may not help, but they don't hurt, that's the key).

9. The defense: Once 12th in the league, they're now up to 5th. It's been 124 games since Coco Crisp made an error. Yum-o.

8. Star power: Six All-Stars. This town LOVES these guys.

7. The whole lineup: With the exception of Lugo, everyone is hitting over .260, and the team average is .273. That's decent.

6. The back of the bullpen: I firmly believe I played a significant role in Hideki Okajima going to the All-Star game, and Jonathan Papelbon is one BAMF (if you don't know what this means, you can probably figure it out).

5. Give me one team who wants to see this in the postseason: Schilling, Beckett, Matsuzaka. Good golly.

4. Youth: Youk's 28, Beckett's 27, Dice-K and Papelbon are 26, and Pedroia's 24. These guys will be revved up and ready to go in October.

3. The least number of Manny-being-Manny moments in a very long time, i.e. it seems like he's going 100% more than ever (which is weird, because his numbers are down).

2. Luck. Hardy anyone on this team has been hurt, and if they have, they've fought their war through any tough stretch.

1. Joshua. Patrick. Beckett. The Red Sox Love of My Life for 2007 (This status was briefly threatened by Jacoby Ellsbury, but I couldn't make a fourth outfielder the Love of My Life. Yet.).

Bottom line? I don't want to risk the future, I don't want to risk the now, I like things the way they are. The only guy I kind of want besides OC is Mark Buehrle, and that's only if Schilling is out until the end of July. So don't trade Jon Lester, don't trade Clay Bucholz, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't trade Jacoby Ellsbury. But feel free to trade Lugo.